It’s not the first encounter. But this time, I fought back. Last week, someone tweeted that I had been Fake Steved. Last week, at Betanews I blogged: “Why I chose Windows 7 Over Snow Leopard (and you should, too).”
For Fake Steve (aka, journalist Dan Lyons) that translated into post title: “Borg lapdog says you should choose Windows 7 over Snow Leopard.” He writes:
I’ve heard people say Win7 doesn’t suck as much as Vista. But to say it’s better than Snow Leopard? Really? Not just on par, but better?…But I was still pretty stunned to see “journalist” Joe Wilcox throw aside every last shred of dignity and tell people, flat out, the incredible lie that Windows 7 is better than Snow Leopard. Not as good. Better…Joe Wilcox, have you no shame? Have you no sense of decency, sir?
Hell, I had to say something in response to that, even though it was pretty mild for Fake Steve Jobs. I wrote in comments to the post:
Fakey, just let me juice up that Apple Kool-Aid for you. I heard from my Borg friends the truth about you. They tell me that a number of prominent Apple developments were skunkworks projects to soothe your bruised, Windows-envious ego.
Everyone knows that Apple secretly developed Keynote for your hypnotic presentations (What twirly whorls do you hide in those slides, anyway?). But does anyone outside Apple know about your secret PowerPoint longing being the real reason for Keynote? The Borg told me all about it.
Then there is the transition to Intel processors and release of Boot Camp, which I heard was another skunkworks project so you could secretly run Windows to, gasp, play games.
I know. I know. You can’t ever publicly admit these flaws of character. But we forgive you for being human like the rest of us. Some priests smoke and drink. Some cops protect and steal. Some McDonald’s executives eat Burger King. Sometimes Steve locks the office door, cracks the MBP and starts up Windows. Say, are you as productive as I am using Windows 7?
For anyone following Apple, it all should make sense. For anyone else, sorry for speaking Greek—eh, geek.
Photo Credit: Mark Coggins