My Prime Day Booty

For the first Prime Day in years, I purchased something—two pairs of Levi’s jeans. They fit, or I send them back. With denim-wear these days, sizing is like gambling: Sometimes you hit the jackpot, usually you don’t. Why is that? I have pairs of 28-30 and 29-30 Hollister jeans that are just right but another 29-30 that is way too tight. What’s up with that?

I hope the two 30-29s that an Amazon driver delivered tonight will fit. I’ll find out after posting. Priorities, priorities. My preference would be to shop local, but I couldn’t find that measurement, unless considerably less than 100-percent cotton. Since when is 85 percent, mixed with polyester and elastane (e.g. Lyrica, spandex), jeans?

I understand that we are a nation of obesity and that stretchy material makes people feel good by buying a smaller waste-size than they would otherwise require. But, please, put down the bag of Oreos. Pour that beer, or hard seltzer, down the drain. And walk! You don’t need cardio. Put one foot in front of the other. Outdoors. Let sunlight replenish your Vitamin D. Listen to the birdies sing.

Oh, yeah, my purchase. Assuming Amazon sold me what was advertised, my new Levi’s are all-cotton. Elastane-free. All that remains is the fit. Normally, I wouldn’t bother boring you about my pants purchases, but I’m long-time irritated about sizing variances—where two identical items in the same size in one store fit drastically different. And I loathe clothiers’ love of stretchy material to accommodate bulging waistlines.

Drumroll, next morning: I finally tried on both jeans, which were made in Indonesia. They’re too small! Considering that my 30-30 Hollister jeans are roomy, I expected loose fit, not too tight. If these Levi’s are, as advertised, “true to size”, then I’m the one being fooled about my waistline. My ego can suffer the truth. Now, I’ve got to arrange their return. Damn.

I got lucky enough to pass by an Amazon truck making deliveries in my San Diego neighborhood of University Heights, providing opportunity to snag some illustration for this missive. The Featured Image, from Leica Q2, is touched up to remove information that might specifically identify the truck; for the professional privacy of the driver. Vitals, aperture manually set: f/5.6, ISO 100, 1/80 sec, 28mm; 7:38 p.m. PDT, today.